Struggling to live in a world without my twin
I'm really struggling today with losing my identical twin sister 9 months ago. the medical system and her doctors really failed her and I'm so angry. So angry that this had to happen. It was a given that her time was short but she certainly did not have to suffer prior to her death the 24 hours before. Most days I get up after telling myself I can't lay in bed for the rest of my life. It's hard facing a day knowing in my mental state that she's not here, but my heart lying to me telling me, she's just at home. I have so many regrets that I can never atone for. Our bond was so strong and I've only dreamed about her twice since she's been gone. I thought for sure she would reach out and try to reconnect with me more. Is it because I refuse to believe she's gone? My heart cannot accept that she's no longer on this earth with me. Everytime I watch the video's of her last day in the hospital it literally rips my heart to shreds. I never in a m
