Slow weekend....

Right before Thanksgiving it was rush rush to get everything done. Groceries brought, cleaning the house (only to have to re- clean after the kids left) cooking and baking and throw in a fight in there with my sister.... and after all that Thanksgiving went well. The food was great (of course) our family is slowly over the year getting smaller. Tyler wasn't here this year. The first year since he's been born we haven't spent a major holiday together. He choose to go to his new girlfriend's family this year so that hurt alittle bit. But understandable.

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Friday after Thanksgiving was a lazy slow down, rest up, stay in your pjs all day long; not wanting to do anything or to go anywhere. I did get some laundry caught up, some journal writing done but other than that it was a  l o n g   day spent indoors in between  computer room and my bedroom, I think I snuck a nap in there also, along with a lot of day dreams and wishing.

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Saturday was a beautiful day here with temps in the 50's. My Mama has been feeling down in the dumps lately so we spent the day together, fighting the traffic and the crowds at the store and did a little shopping. The stores were crowded with people gearing up to decorate for Christmas! I love this time of year. Usually under circumstances this would be a happy time of year for me, but this year a lot is weighing on my mind and no matter how hard I try to push it aside, I find myself right back in the middle of thinking and talking to myself.

It's so funny because lately I find myself thinking a lot inside my head. Having conversations with myself as if someone else is actually in the room with me.  I mean I don't actually answer my questions, but  of late I have notice that feeling, emotions and conversations are happening a lot inside my head. Sometimes so much so that I want to shout, "Will you shut up in there" as I long for just one hour of peace...no thoughts. It's a mess inside my head. It feels as if its a giant puzzle that has been unscrambled and I have to put the pieces back together again. Only I can't find the beginning piece or the ending piece and in between all of this there are words just floating around, screaming at me. It's mentally exhausting. 

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It's crazy how the human brain functions, with thoughts, and feelings and emotions that sometimes are so overwhelming I want to run away from my own head. Only I haven't quite figured out how to do that yet.

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I really need to find away to get back to LA for awhile..and very soon

im longing for LONG days on the beach
flea markets
sunday services
days with my girls
a different environment
sunshine and warmth
and a feeling of closeness with my Ashy and Nik
and a longing to run away (if only for just a little while)

XOXO

Kelly