ll:04PM

it's ll:04 PM. i've done nothing all day but lay on the couch and watch tv and read. yeah its been one of those dreary days where i couldn't force myself out to face the gloom.

no sun, and dark skies. and now, rain drops are hitting the panes of window with a gentle force. 

i've got a headache on the right side of my head and the IBUs i took 2 hours ago are doing nothing to dull the pain...its just throb..throb...throb...

i haven't written a decent blog post in a couple months and i hate that. i sit down at the computer but the words fail me...they fail to come...they fail to express my thoughts and emotions that pass from day to day...

for the most part since i've stopped taking prozac i've been pretty good. i think even better than when i was taking it. but still..something is off...and i don't know if it is depression..but it lingers there back in the dark and today i let it take control...only because i didn't have the strength to fight it.tommorrow will be better...
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the last week has been filled with sadness and grief. seems everytime i turn around someone young child has been shot, or killed and i often go to bed thinking what in the world has gone wrong and how did the once happy childhood world that i grew up in, where did it go?
it deeply saddens me...

xoxox