Beware - Rant Session

its two minutes to 2. I've been laying in a bed for an hour now with a million thoughts invading  my head.  of course all these thoughts, to-do-lists, inspiration, all these things never come to me during the day, its always at night when im wanting to shut down that  a spark goes off in my head and the processes begins...should i continue to lay here and try to turn them off, or should i get up go out the computer and write them all down....

most of the time, i lay there, sometimes for 2 hours before my mind settles down and im able to drift off the sleep. however, tonight i decided to act upon them...

so, yeah. here i am...

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im having a love \ hate relationship with my 17 year old daughter these past few weeks.

i seriously am at my ends wit with her. i don't know how to reach her and i come off as the nagging mom. she has a knack at making me feel like she's in control and that everything is my fault.

this parenting teenagers is harder than i remember. but then, alexis and i never went through this faze. Luckily her and I were always able to communicate every easily. Not so much with my last child.

it's tiring, the same old arguments and disrespect from her daily is a heavy burden to haul.

im weary and im aching to reconnect with her again.

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i made a big decision to not shoot anymore weddings after this season is over. My heart has never really been into shooting weddings, i mainly have done it for the money, but my lack of enthusiasm for them has gotten so bad, i've decided to not shoot them anymore.

i'll be completely happy and content with my regular one hour shoots of everything else.

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today I was thankful for the loving and forgiving Lord that I have. I stuck my foot in my mouth today and felt horrible about it. Of course I apologized to the (said) person and they accepted my apology with  such grace. Sometimes I get so discouraged with my behavior and my over re-acting. I really need to stop and think before I open my mouth. The Lord has brought some amazing people into my life recently and Im blessed.

So with that I think I'll try to head back to bed and salvage as much sleep as I can get.

XOXOXO