Dreary December Days

December - didn't start off so great. My cousin died unexpectedly and had to attend her service on my birthday - so hard to deal with. so many emotions. She'd just been diagnosed with Small Cell Lung Cancer just weeks before. She hadn't even had time to see an oncologist, it just went so fast and had already spread to her liver by the time she was diagnosed. I hate cancer! Every week I hear of someone I know being attacked by this evil disease, and I can't help but wonder, WHY?

Why is cancer prevalent in our world today? What the heck is going on? And something needs to change, immediately!

I'm grateful that God did show mercy to her and didn't leave her suffering for a long time, yet, I'm angry at the same time.

I'm living each day to the fullest because honestly, it's scary how you can be here one day and gone the next.

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with everything going on I'm just not "feeling" Christmas this year. it was a struggle to put up the tree and I didn't do half of the decorating I usually do. For some reason, it just doesn't feel like Christmas to me, and I'm not feeling the spirit around me like I normally do. In all honesty, I'm over it already. I'm counting the days until it is behind me and I can move into the New Year.

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I'm already into my "hibernation" period for Winter and this is where you will usually find me:

minus the donuts, lol. 

I've been finding comfort in my bible lately, and usually do a Bible Study every morning. I'm in such a frenzy over the state of things lately and I'm reminded that I cannot do anything about it, so I'm trying to hand it over to God and trust in "HIS" peace.

No matter how hard I try, I fail every day at something and I have to keep reminding myself that HE still loves me, in all my sinness.

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Currently, I'm reading, "The Way of Abundance" by Ann Koskamp

She is one of my favorite authors and her books are ones that I tend to devour quickly, and then go back for a second read.

"You can lose your precarious way by ten in the morning. You miss Jesus when you don't look for Him in the right places...Too much social media can be soul suicide." (ann koskamp)

and I find this to be true for me. I get on Facebook and am reminded of the cruelness of people, the insults and the negativity, the gossiping (or as I call it, "Shit Stirring") that is spread on social media, and how easy it is for me to get swept up into all that, which isn't good for my soul.

and that is exactly where Satan wants me, right dab in the middle of all that ungratefulness. 

I forget that Jesus died on the Cross for MY sins and that there is NO Condemnation for me, He Paid for that already. "But there are days when self-condemnation cuts me so deep that I can be reaching, grasping, but can't seem to remember to believe that HE believes in me.

Maybe right now, instead of giving someone a piece of your mind, it's far better to give them pieces of your heart." (AK)

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Today, be the GIFT and give someone the benefit of doubt. Maybe today if each one of us finds someone who is hurt, grieving, feeling underserved,  take that person and listen to them - until they feel understood - this is what it means when Jesus said, "Love one another" - to love the other.

xoxox

God Bless