My Mama

there is nothing like a mother's love...its beyond comprehension 

its first heartbeat your hear

its the first cuddle you feel as you are pulled out of the safety net you've been enclosed in for so long.... placed into the loving arms of  your mother after you are assaulted by bright lights. . . after 9 months in darkness and voices that echo through the womb

its the first person you love.....shes the first person who teaches you about what trust is, and sacrifice, the first person who teaches you what  

L> O>V>E> truly is.....

my mama just celebrated her 89th birthday last week.

the Lord has been good to me and has blessed us both...she is in relatively good health for her age, still able to drive and live in her own apartment....

today she was very sick and i had to go over there and pick her up off the bathroom floor...

and clean her up....to say that it killed me to see her like that would be a HUGE understatement.

my heart is still broke.

there is no dignity in getting old thats for sure. she felt so bad that i had to clean up after her, and all the while im thinking.....there was no other option. that is my mama and i would do anything for her....if it did show me one thing

it would be that i dont ever want to get that old.....i don't want my kids to have to clean up after me while i lay there humiliated....laying in my own waste....

old age is hard

for everyone.....my mama and for me....

.................feeling so sentimental tonight................

XOXOX