this and that

 In a mere 2 days my teagie will be 3 months old already. she is just now starting to interact with us when we engage with her. she smiles and coos and she just melts my heart! i love this girl so much.

and im so blessed that i get to have her 2 days a week while mommy and daddy work.

of course i can't walk into a clothing store without buying her usually 3 or 4 things. plus the holidays are coming up and my girl has to look her best :)

i had a wonderful day yesterday with my Mama. She had a follow-up visit with her doctor after her 5 day stay in the hospital last week. and we thought all the tests had come back good until today when the nurse called and told us her "carotid artery" is blocked on one side of her neck. because of her age they are not going to do anything about it, so of course im scared she is going to have another stroke only this time it might be a bad one.

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 today my sister took her grocery shopping and my mom told her that she reallys believes this will be her last Thanksgiving and Christmas and that nearly broke my heart, it did break my heart, so this year im going out extra special to make sure that she has the best holidays ever.  its hard for me to allow my mind to travel and think about a time when my mama won't be on this earth with me.

it is so painful i honestly don't know how i will survive it. she is my best friend, my everything. we are very close, we talk 2 or 3 times a day on the phone and we are usually doing something at least 2 times a week. im going to be so lost without her. i know when she does goes, a big piece of my heart will go with her and i most than likely will not be the same person.

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went to the dentist for a check-up and cleaning today. i have to get 2 back teeth pulled because of cavities and they've gotten so bad that they have impacted the root of the tooth so they can't be saved :( luckily they are the back 2 teeth, i also have 9! yes! can you believe that 9 fricking cavities. plus i need 2 crowns.i guess all that eating all those peppermint candies finally caught up with me...GWAD. between dentist bills and doctor bills looks like im going to be going into debt for awhile. i swear it is always, ALWAYS something. just can never get ahead in the financial department.

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all that has been weighing heavy on me today so i think i'll go run a nice, warm lavender bath and soak for a while, maybe light a candle

XOXOXO