The Dreaded first week of November

 First week of November. I've been dreading this week since September. And here it is. On the lst of November we drove up to Iowa City for Richard's PET scan and to see if the cancer had spread, if not, he would qualify for "Esophagectomy" surgery, where they remove part of your esophagus and nearby lymph nodes thru incisions in your chest, and abdomen,  then remove the diseased part where the tumor is and then reconstruct the what's left of the esophagus stretching the stomach up to reconnect. It's a major surgery with major risks. It's a LONG surgery, 6 hours if everything goes well.  Friday, November 10, 3 days from now we'll head up to Ia City for this surgery.

Over the last 5 months I feel as if I'm like that single leaf in the picture above just barely holding on. The wind is blowing and trying to snatch me from the thin branch. I've had just about every emotion you can have over the last 5 months as I try to process the death of my dear twin sister, Shelly and trying to give the best support I can to my husband. In all honesty I think I'm more scared about this surgery than he is, that or he's trying to be the strong one for me + Caitlin. Because that would be just like him.

I never in a million years would have thought that we would be in this place that we are. Since 2020 I've lost someone I love, hence the year 2022 when we almost lost our youngest daughter but God intervene and saved her. PRAISE GOD!  This last week I've been pondering what I've learned in these last 3 years because obviously there is a lesson in all this loss and heartache. For some reason I thought I was immune to all this heartbreak and despair because I've been so blessed in this life, up until 3 years ago that is.  In doing a Bible Study a couple weeks ago, I came across a few things that really pressed into me hard. One we all suffer, if we haven't yet, I can assure you that you will sometime in your lifetime. Second, we can't rush or hurry the process along. We live by God's time and His Will.  I've been in this valley of suffering and mourning for 3 years now, and I'm weary and bone tired. 

_____________BUT_____________

God made the Israelites wait for 30 years! 30 years of suffering and waiting. So although my 3 years may seem like a long time to me, God has blessed me with many wonderful years and I lean into Jesus to carry me on the days I'm to frail. And, HE does. Everytime.

Some people may blame God for their hardships and their suffering but the fact is, we are here to learn lessons, to take away something from this life. And no matter how many trials or how much suffering I endure, I will remain strong and faithful to my Lord, Jesus Christ. Because without HIM, I have nothing.

Prayers for a successful surgery

Prayers they get all the cancer out

&

Prayers that he has a quick and successful recovery.

GOD bless you.