RIP my Sweet Cousin, Sheila

 "Precious in the sight of the Lord..."“... is the death of his faithful servants.” (Psalm 116:15 NIV

Your loved one’s death is of infinite value to me. I see every detail. I am present in every agonizing moment. She’s not just one of thousands of souls entering eternity today; her passage is significant because it brings her home to Me.

It's midnight. the house is quiet and I'm the only one up, aimlessly walking the halls, my heart is so heavy hanging onto a thin thread of unbearable grief. Never in a million years would I have thought things would have turned out like this, so fast and so unexpected. We just chatted on the phone Sunday and now 6 days later, you are gone. just gone. For weeks I've been pouring over Scripture, pleading with God for complete healing, comfort, and his mercy to shine down upon you. It was too fast, and I didn't get to say goodbye. We needed more time with you. I wanted to be there for you, to help you with anything you needed help with, to bare our souls and mostly to give you comfort.

to serve you in your last days.

as I sit here typing this so many wonderful memories of us growing up together race through my head. the days when my children were young and we had them baptized and you were their Godmother. You were always putting others before yourself, even right to the end.

I know you suffered, I can't even begin to endure the pain you went through these last two months, but you braved through that storm of life as if it was nothing, outshining us all as always.

when I search words to describe you, these are what burst through:  compassionate, caring, loving, selfless, always putting others before yourself..  a hard worker (always giving a 150% to your work, and your girls.)  I admired you, I loved you

I feel like you got cheated, your girls got cheated, but God is behind me tapping on my shoulder, whispering, "She's in her Mama's arms again and there is great rejoicing going on in heaven tonight."

I know you are up there gathered with the family, excitingly filling in everyone on what has been happening since they left us.

I'm grateful that the Lord poured out his mercy to you and not left you to linger in a weakened cancer-filled body.

I pray that in the coming days Father, that you will comfort us, and pour your everlasting grace upon us. To my Family, her girls, Kristy & Michele, and her partner, John. 

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I declare your promises Lord to your servants

 (Ps. 16:8)  I know that the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me."

(Ps. 18:2-3)

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me and my place of safety. I called on the Lord who is worthy of praise, and he saved me.

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I'm going to miss you dear cousin and I know when I get to heaven you will be standing there at the gate welcoming me home with open arms.

RIP sweet girl.

XOXO