Struggling to live in a world without my twin

A Letter To My Mama (Sept. 9, 2014)

For as long as I can remember, since I was a child, my mother would open up a can (or back then it was a glass bottle) of Pepsi and it would last her all day long. Today as I sat at my Mama’s kitchen, two days before her 88^th birthday, I looked at her, glanced at the can of Pepsi and a warmness spread through my soul. If just for a brief second; it took me back to my childhood.

I am so grateful to God that he has blessed my Mama with a long and rich life. And that still, at 88 years old she is in relatively good health; she is still able to live in her own home, drive a car; play bridge with the girls, go out to lunch, and shopping.

When I show her this book that I have made for her, she will sigh, look up at me, and say, “Oh Kelly, I look horrible. I have no make-up on, my hair’s not done,” and I will just look at her and smile.

Because to me, all that doesn’t matter. What mattered to me is that we were together – Mother  & Daughter; enjoying an ordinary day together. That she is here and in two days will we celebrate her 88^th birthday together.

I glance at her hands, her skin is paper thin now, and her fingers are crippled with arthritis. But that is not what I see. I see strong hands that wipe the tears from my eyes when I am sad. I see hands that lovingly tucked me into bed at night when I was a child.  Hands that still can wrap around me and give me a hug like no one else and sooth my worries away. We may not always see eye to eye on a lot of things (well, lately, a lot of things) but one thing remains constant; she is my MAMA. She is my confident, my best friend, and the one person who I turn to when I’m feeling alone, and have lost my way in the world. She is there to put the pieces of the puzzle back together for me again. She is My Mama. She is strong, beautiful and confident. And I

Cherish her every day.

I love you Mama (Kelly)