Soul Reprieve

today my soul got exactly what it has been silently aching for. Time.  with. Her.

this special girl of mine, My girl, Teag.

I been running ragged for weeks now and haven't been spending any time with her.

this week I vowed to set a day aside for her and seeing her, holding her, kissing her brought back all the happiness I have been longing for the last month.

June has slipped away in all her busyness and July is a few short days away. It will be announced with whimpering dogs at the back door as LOUD BOOMS light up night skies and the dogs run for cover.

I've truly never been a fan of the 4th of July. Sure the fireworks are pretty, the 4th of July family get together is nice but I've never quite understood what the big whoop-ha has been about something that goes BOOM super LOUD and leaves you flying off the couch, your heart on the floor.

nope, never got that part of it.

and not only that, it's just not for one night, it will continue for at least a week or longer....grrrrr

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I'm anxiously awaiting for Novah to come. I'm been counting the months and days for so long now that I just want her to be here. I want her to be here. I want to be walking the floors at 3 AM softly singing lull-a-byes in her ear. swaddling her close and kissing tiny cheeks as I breathe in as deep as I can all the baby newness before it disappears, so until she arrives, I'll breathe and pause for as long as I can.  Caitlin looks so uncomfortable, but I have to admit I'm quite surprised at how well she is handling the last drawn out uncomfortable month that pregnancy brings.

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the cat is on a constant quest to irritate me with her constant complaining that never ends no matter what we do. She's old and I'm pretty sure her life is coming close to the end.  the summer started so early this year (in May) and the humidity and heat have been almost constant. the air-conditioners run 24/7 and everytime I have to go outside, I gasp for a clean breath inside the heavy mist that hangs. I loathe not being able to spring open windows and doors. i loathe not being able to inhale fresh air. the stagnant air in the house feels heavy and unwelcomed, and i find myself wishing away the days hoping for Autumn already.

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words have been at a loss lately. late at night when I'm struggling to fall asleep, then, the words come.

and then I struggle with the thought if I should get up and write them down or just lay there till my eyes close and I slip away into a deep slumber. And usually more times than not, it's the latter. I lay there. Morning comes and the words are once again, lost. 

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XOXO