at a loss

  I thank God everyday for my beautiful grandchildren. I don't know what I'd do without them, especially since my mom is gone. I miss my mom so much. and now I'm at the point where I even hate saying that cause I know people are probably sick of hearing it and think that I should be over it by now.

the truth is I'll never be over it. My mom was my best friend. She was the glue that held everything together and  now I just feel like everything is falling to shit. I have to force myself to get out of bed every day. the only joy I find is when I'm with my grandchildren and then can forget for a short while.

last year at this time my mom was still here. I find myself wishing to go back in time everyday. no matter how hard i try i just can't seem to move forward, to get pass this loss.