...........Real Life..........

Real Life....

i use to be OCD on how clean my house was. when my kids were younger i was forever walking behind them picking up toys off the floor and sweeping the kitchen floor at least 10 times a day, i ran the sweeper once a day and dusted every day...i was more obsessed on how clean my house was than i was with getting down on the floor and playing, interacting with my children. 

Im still OCD to a point, but Im on medication now so its not near as bad. my only regret is i missed all those precious memories with my children because i was too focused on how clean my house was

i wish i knew back then what i know now....

that 'real life' is messy and thats okay...its okay if there are crumbs on the floor and dirty dishes piled in the sink..its not a crime if clean laundry sits in the basket in the dining room for a day, .that life goes on despite the messes.....its okay not to have have everything perfect and shining....

I always thought that everything had to be perfect...myself as well.  and now i know that its okay if i stay in my pjs all day and lay in bed reading....

its okay if i don't do my hair or put on make-up for a day

in addition to having to have everything perfect, i also believed that i could fix broken people.

silly me....i can't even fix myself

but i've always tried to find the good in people because i believe that everyone has some goodness in them...but the fact is...not everyone is compassionate, caring and loving towards others....and i can't fix that...i can't go back to the moment where someone got screwed up and prevent them from being messed up in life...i can't convince someone that life is all glamour and pain-free

because it's not....

but i can try my best everyday to be kind, and compassionate towards others...thats all i can do...

i now know that 'real life' will never be perfect....no matter how clean and shiny everything appears, underneath their are mistakes, secrets, and sadness...and that the best i can do is to forgive myself, and move forward...lay the past the rest and to know that im going to make mistakes, i or my life will never be perfect and i know now that that's 

OKAY....

XOXO