Final Days with this sweet girl .....

Life with Cancer....

she's been fighting this evil for 2 years...

shes had major surgery 2 times

to remove what they told her would be all the cancer

follow up with an  intense series of chemo and radiation....

like a fighter she plunged forward

never once even thinking about giving up

and letting cancer win...that was never an option for her...

even though every day of her life was a struggle

she always could smile

and rise to greet another day....

no matter what hardships she had to face....

yes shes made mistakes, numerous mistakes

haven't we all? but we are all still God's children

she looked at me the other day, her darken eyes sunken in, pale skin and

protruding bones....."Miss Lady, why is God doing this to me?"

....i took her hand in mine....its cool to the touch...

searching my heart for a answer she would understand....

she cannot grasp the thought that she is dying...

the nurse told us today that she will be surprised if she makes it through the weekend....

*tear*

watching someone you care about die from cancer is pure hell

it's like someone taking a knife and twisting it through your heart

you feel every turn. 

you search their dull lifeless eyes hoping for a small piece of the person you once knew to still be in there ....

somewhere

but they are no longer there

and then you turn away

because its just too unbearable to watch

~~~~~~~~~~

and when you leave

you say to yourself,

God, please I hope I never go like that....

and

your heart breaks a little more each day.

XOXO