..........Last days with Candy.........

this is Candy.
this is living with Cancer.

 it's coming to terms and acceptance knowing you are not going to

be here much longer

it doesn't matter that she's had surgery and it has taken all her feminine female parts away or that

shes suffered through endless amounts of chemo and radiation 

thats not enough for Cancer

it has to take her life as well

she's 48 years old and has been fighting this demon for 2 years.

Saturday, March 5th is her birthday

I'll make her favorite, Apple pie but I know she won't eat any

and that's okay....

we'll celebrate her last birthday just being there with her

and comforting her....

CANCER

IT SUCKS....

...it hospice nurses coming once a day to access pain levels

and to give moral support to the patient as well as the care-givers which in 

this case is my sister, Shelly...and Candy's brother, Tim.

its panic attacks, psychological stress and spiritual crises 

it's 24/7 on morphine and fentanyl patches  plus  other meds to control the pain

so that her last moments of life can be enjoyed with her family

and loved ones....

it's little moments of smiles and laughter, but more moments of tears and sadness

its your body's organs shutting down

and not eating or drinking anything but tiny sips of water

to get the pills down...

it's sleeping through most of the day

and restlessness and anxiety when the moon shines

its taking lots of pictures so her family doesn't 

forget one single little thing when she's gone....

its her brother, Tim drinking everyday because he can't face

what's coming or seeing his sister watch cancer strip away everything

that she was...

it's my sister up numerous times a night to check on Candy and

give her meds

help her to the bathroom

and let her know she's not alone....

Cancer is ugly, ruthless, evil and monstrous and its takes anything it wants....