Her.

she thinks shes being sneaky, she puts on a front, like we are stupid and can't tell.

im disgusted, so disgusted that its hard for me to even talk to her, to even be decent toward her. im bone-tired weary of the whole damn mess, of her even. it will never end...i've accepted that...it will only end when she is dead and buried in the ground...the lies, the sneaking, the evil words she hurls at you in a moment of madness in her head.....

you would think that she would want the madness to end...but she can't see it, only we can and we are helpless to do anything about it...

she thinks we should forgive and forget her bouts of cruelness and words shout in hatred because she was drunk...but i've tried...

i can't do it....i can't forget....

those horrid memories are buried deep in the back of my head and in the deepest part of my heart...

it stings like a bitch...

and sadly enough, i miss her,the real her. the person she was before she let the enemy take over her entire self-being.

i've accepted the fact that she is never coming back...

my mom makes excuses for her more often than not...because its a sickness

but she could get help...they are places out there where she could get help, but she won't

its too much of a bother for her to take any kind of responsibility toward her illness.

so day after day we continue on like this

sucked down into a hole with her anger, her bitterness and lies

trapped in a nightmare with the devil.....

im not doing it anymore....

i can't...

i simply have to cut the thread, the thread that has tied us together from the very beginning of life...

im so tired these days...

weary and bone tired...

XOXO