My Caitlin

as a parent we never stop worrying over our kids. as much as i pray over her, i know we still live in a sinful fallen world and sickness and tragedy prevail around us day and night.

i know that i have no control over anything that happens in this life, God has ultimate control over everything and he has the final say. He made us and he can take us anytime he wants. I believe that when we are born we are each given a number of days on the clock, a purpose for why we are here and when that is finished its time to once again go back home.

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my caitlin has been suffering with headaches for quite a while now (at least thats what the doctor thinks it is) so friday i take her in for an appointment. she puts her on Amitriptyline . caitlin starts taking it friday night before bed as this drug has a side effect of fatigue. it is now monday and if anything she tells me it makes her feel  worse. she has been in bed for 2 days. 

this has me concerned. 

i told her not to take the medicine last night.

i called the doctor, informed the nurse what was going on and waiting to hear back from her, i also called a chiropractor today and set her up an appointment for this afternoon.

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as a parent its maddening and hard to sit back and watch your child suffer.

as parents there is only so much we can do. we wholeheartedly pour our hope on the doctors and specialist seeking any possible solution. Last night as i laid in bed, i pleaded with God to not take my baby, and to comfort her and strengthen her.  My mind tends to immediately go into the dark hole of all the most possible worse things this could be. im a worrier, i always have been. however i am trying more to seek God for his wisdom, and his miracles.

and to not let myself jump ahead to the worse possible scenario.

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life is so very short. im in awe at how fast time escapes by. i think we all want more time than we are allowed, but once again that is not in our control. we are asked to find grace in whether we are dealt a bad hand or a good one. thats hard to do, but im learning to look upon the heavens and seek God for his answers, the path that he has put me on this earth for. Im learning to lean into God when things don't go as i planned or hope and to seek his comfort and strength, all the promises he made to his people.

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please if you are reading this today, please pray that we will get some answers as to what is going on with my girl, and pray for peace and relief for her weary body.

XOXO (thank you) and God Bless You
Signed,
A worried Mama