Sleepless at ll:39pm

sleepless at 11:39am

Relationships...

there are all kinds of them. friendship, relatives, husband & wife, lovers.....

and im one to tell you they are hard work....

they take a lot of communication (which lets face it people, some people just are not good at opening up to others, or even communicating for that matter)

i've always been a firm believer that it is extremely important to express your feelings...and let me also tell you that i've never not once ever had a problem doing that...i can scream, throw things and spew the meanest of words just as good as any one can....

yes, there are times id wish i would have stopped, thought for a moment before i acted out on my feelings but im sorry to say, more times than not, i act out of hurt...and 

say things i don't mean.

im trying to get better at stopping and thinking, before i come back with a reaction right away....

you know its true

its true what they say,

we do only hurt the ones we love...that's a no brainer, why would anyone else even care?

in my life i've had numerous relationships of all kinds....daughter, sister, mother, wife, lover, friend and i can tell you if you care about the relationship it is always a work in progress...

its like the laundry...its never ends...

but i've learned along the way that if it matters to you, you will do everything you can to preserve it...that means saying "you're sorry" even when you believe you did nothing wrong...it means putting someone else before yourself (im actually pretty good at that one) i have a lot of love and compassion for people i care about.

and oh yeah...

that thin line they say runs between love and hate....

yup, it's there....

people are going to come into your life and disappear just as fast as they came, but here's the thing...that's okay. some people are only meant to be in our lives for a short while.

and here's another thing....

people change.

we don't stay the same...im certainly not the same person i was ten years ago, and im more than positive i won't be the same person i am now in ten years.

so if you have someone in your life who is important, tell them. you never know if it will be the last chance you have. and if you have a relationship you believe is worth fighting for, then do whatever you have to do to save it....

************

i was laying in bed, tossing and turning with just 

'thoughts' racing around, then i struggle with should i get up and write them down, or should i lay here and hope i fall asleep within the next hour...so tonight i got up and came out to the computer and wrote the things that keep me up at night...