...Remembering Two......

this morning started off early

out on the back porch with hazelnut iced coffee and a trip down memory lane

....days with alayna....

i started this series when she was about 6 months old. i have old vintage suitcases filled with 4x6s of photographs of her childhood up until this day....

next month she will be eight years old....

seems like yesterday when we brought her home

the time as gone by so very fast and it leaves a lonely aching in my heart for days gone by....looking at how tiny she was jabs a twist of longing to get it all back again....i want to go back and do it over

and this time i want to relish in every detail, every second, minute and hour. every day and the day after that

i want the hands on the clock to stand still where as a minute is an hour...

i want to smother a thousand kisses on those little fat cheeks

take her hand and stroll down a country road

so many things forgotten, yet remembered when i look at these photos...i remember the exact day, what we did

what we talked about

bathing her before bed

and tiny pitter patter footsteps running down the hall.....

gosh i miss those days....

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today was brutal...hot and God awful humidity...the kind where you go outside for

2 mins and your make-up is running down your face....ugh....and sweat beads form at the base of your skull....yeah that kind of heat....the kind where if its possible i stay inside all day, but today was not one of those days....

~~~~~~~~~~~

it started off with a 10:30 AM dentist appointment of all things....one of the most things i dread most is going to the dentist...it steams back from a bad experience from when i was a young child...i instantly walk into a dentist office, smell that smell, and hear that drill and it's down hill from there.

Fortunately i have an awesome dentist now so that helps, that and a zanex before i head out the door.....

then it was helping my mom fill out medical paper work

and a trip to the grocery store...another dreaded job :(

tuesday will bring in more heat 

and loads of laundry sitting in baskets downstairs....

its a thousand things running through my head right now....my missing a dear friend i lost early last November unexpectedly...the regret in my heart that we hadn't talked for a while and now i will never get the chance to again....

too many details and emotions right now

so i'll go tuck them into bed

and sleep on them for awhile....

tomorrow will be better ...

alayna will be here

XOXO