A letter to My Son

i wanted to give a speech on the day you were married, but things happened so quickly as they usually do at weddings. you plan for months and months and the day goes so swiftly you barely have time enough to take it all in. 

i was honored to take the photographs for you and your beautiful sweet wife, Ale for you to enjoy in the coming years.

it was a perfect day weather wise and everything seemed to fall into place perfectly.

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i wanted to write you this letter so that you may know how i feel in my heart.

the day i found out you were on your way i was beyond happiness i ever knew...i kept looking at the pregnancy test a couple times a day just to be sure i wasn't seeing things until i could get into the doctor for him to confirm that yes indeed i had my first child on their way....

your dad and i tried for 4 years to get pregnant, so you were a gift, a blessing in which we could not wait to become parents.

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i had a hard labor with you, and after 18 hours, and 4 blood transfusions,  you were delivered by C-section 

i really didn't get to see you until the next day and after that we were bonded as mother and child.

you were not happy when your sister showed up 3 years later....

you made your emotions on having a sister quite well, but soon you adjusted and she became your best friend, your confident. 

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during the teenage years, you and i struggled...i always say that because i believe you and i are so much alike, both of us  stubborn and opinionated 

i know you felt at times that i didn't listen to you, or understand you, which in part was true, you were always a shy child and kept everything inside...only sharing secrets with your sister.

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i never fully realized the meaning of "pure love" until you were placed in my arms. I tried the best i could to be a good mother and as you know being a parent is hard. i wish that we were given hand books but unfortunately you have to learn as you go along...i made mistakes....yes and im sorry if anything i did made you feel unwanted or unloved. that was never my intention. i love you and i would give my life for any of my children without even thinking about it twice.

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i love you Tyler. You are my first born child. My only son. Our relationship is important to me and all i've ever wanted was your happiness.

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my heart was over-filled with joy and pride for you on your wedding day.

i wish you and Ale years of happiness. i wish for all your dreams to come true and i wish that you know how important you are to me and how much i love you.

XOXOX

Mama