Bone-Tired

autumn held on as long as she could this year and if i look out the window i still see traces of her lingering behind, scattered leaves sweep up into corners. she threw a temper yesterday at winter crowding her out. but alas winter wins once again so im cozying up the inside for her short days and  l o n g   nights 

in so ready for the new year approaching. im ready to leave 2017 behind with her constant disappointments and out of control situations, one after another. most days having to push myself to leave the comfort of my bed and lingering there way longer than i should, but unable to move any faster. 

yesterday everything came tumbling down, one after another and by nightfall i was buried deep in a circle of despair  feeling as if a cement brick was tied to me neck and pulling me deeper and deeper. 

sleep was fitful and short and has left me weary this morning.  its hard being the constant fixer upper for everyone else. im screaming inside and no one is listening. im so tired of having to rescue everyone. im so broken down and im drowning but no one is hearing me and at this point i don't even care...everyone else's problems seem to be mine and i can't say, no, ever.

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December showed up this morning with her long, bone tired hours dragging in on the winds of winter and her 32 temp following closely behind.  after november i just didn't have it in me to go all out on decorating for Christmas this year so we'll settle for a few scattered trees here and there and some twinkling lights draped above windows and mirrors.

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