it's 3:20AM in the Morning....

its 3:20AM in the morning. after tossing and turning for 2 hours i didn't fight it anymore and got out of bed. my soul is lost and my heart is broken. i lit a cigarette

its cool outside. so unusual for August. it feels more like the end of September.

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she texted me this morning. she sent photos of her new room. told me how weird it was to be doing Dallas's laundry. tonight after i came home after a shoot, i walked in the house and there was no noise. just emptiness, like the hole in my heart.  the silence was deafening. the silence that i have been craving for months was enveloping the room. and it was a definite reminder that she is no longer here in this house. in her room.

i keep her bedroom door closed now. i can't bear to walk pass and glance inside. its a instant twinge in the heart. a dull ache. thats constant. 

a yearning for days past

 her pictures fill the walls in every room.

there is no escaping her. she's everywhere i look.

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i went down to the river tonight. just calm and the sounds of summer.

a cleansing. i lingered on the edge.  it was so beautiful and serene. 

i didn't want to come home.

home to this now empty space.

tomorrow i think i will go back to the river

and fall in love with her all over again.

XOXO