ramblings of a mad woman

i like to document my days, especially days i spend with my Mama and we had a good one today....

i don't know why but everybody , their brother and sister were out ..everywhere we want we had to wait in line forever and traffic....yeah...lets not even go there....

of course we had to stop at our favorite store, Target and then get our Starbucks fix.

we wandered through the christmas aisle 

looked at all different sizes of trees

pretty wrapping paper and boxes (i love the boxes more than anything and the paper!)

blinking lights, and pink lights

ice skates and sleds....

i am ready for some snow

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the air around me is tense and the anxiety beating inside my chest makes me reach for a hand full of xanax...

and deeply inhaling....nerves are strung tight as wire today...and

anger...lots of anger....

you don't know me at all....

i can feel the crazy rolling around in my head, cold like a piece of lead

im going to let that feeling that something inside me just snapped, be there.

im going to acknowledge it, then care for it and then 

over and done...

you must go through it to get out of it
 (the broken man project)

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the devil whispered in my ear, "you're not strong enough to withstand the storm."

TODAY

i  looked at him an sneered, I AM THE FUCKING STORM!"

~~~~~~~~~

Happy Birthday to my brother, Jack up in heaven! Thinking of you today

XOXO